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  • Home
  • For entrepreneurs and inventors
    • Dave was Interviewed
    • 200+ websites for entrepeneurs and inventors
    • Trade Show & Conference links
    • Patent Getting Process
    • Videos for inventors
    • inventor consulting and speaking
    • LinkedIn groups for inventors
    • Invention Idea Assessment
    • Idea killers to overcome
    • Don't call yourself an inventor
    • Price Before Product Always
    • Licensing "Dead Weight" Patents
    • 96 article links for inventors
    • More Articles and Resources
  • Our Book
    • Custom Editions for Mrktg. and Gifts
    • Endorsements and Praise
    • Productive Family Meetings
    • videos on end-of life topics
    • Who are they going to call?
    • Our interviews on Remembrance
    • Managing online accounts of loved ones
    • Who Among You?
  • Video services for oganizations
    • Video shooter services
  • Family Video
    • video samples
    • Advice on creating your video
    • interviews about sharing
    • creating a video
    • 6 activities for story sharing
    • 200+ questions for story sharing
    • Resources to Inspire Story Sharing
    • Testimonials
  • For and with kids
    • Come to Grammie Camp
    • Family traveling games
    • Reading the dollar bill
    • Raising Kids 2b entrepreneurs
    • The Detective Game
    • Learning Idioms
    • Life and Skills Development
    • The art of gift receiving
    • Playground diplomacy
    • Names of very big numbers
  • Buckets O' Fun
  • Good Stuff from Dave
    • Microsoft Word Shortcuts
    • Raising Kids 2b entrepreneurs
    • Body and Organ Donation
    • Good Stuff Testimonials
    • My Oasis Hug Practice
    • Emergency Information Sheet
    • Contractor Bid Negotiations
    • home design suggestions
    • Names of very big numbers
    • Wedding & Reception Advice
    • Are you a Sociopath?
    • I pet wild birds in my hand
    • My Oasis Hug Practice
    • Finding a suitable mate
    • Esalen Massage Practitioner
  • My Art
    • My Saikei Miniature Japanese Gardens >
      • About the art of Saikei
    • My Garden Sculptures
    • My other art and furniture
  • My Balanced mixed media
  • Author Resources
  • Secular Jewish Celebrations
    • Bar & Bat Mitzvah Prep.
    • Yiddish and Hebrew words
    • Hannukah family program
    • Shabbat services
    • Passover Haggadah
    • Fun Seder Songs
  • Being Mortal Documentary And...
    • Have the Conversation
  • Funeral Consumers Alliance of Georgia
  • Our Bold Color Studio art
  DAVE SAVAGE




Have the Conversation of a Lifetime
  • Published on July 18, 2016
 
by Mark Christian - Executive director at Catholic Cemeteries, Inc. Diocese of Wilmington

After nearly forty years of ministry to those who have lost loved ones, I am struck by how many individuals have never discussed their own deaths and end of life wishes.  As a society, we ignore the reality of death until a medical crisis occurs and we see those we love experience pain, fear and confusion.  Studies have shown that a majority of us do not want aggressive end of life hospital based treatments. Most of us prefer to die at home as comfortable as possible surrounded by family and friends. Why then are 60% of Americans dying in hospitals?

It has been proven that aggressive end of life care can worsen quality of life and can negatively affect your family’s bereavement. As Catholics, we are taught to respect life through natural death. While we must make a sincere effort to sustain life, this belief does not require aggressive fragmented medical care that often solves one symptom of illness while negatively affecting the physical and mental health of the patient. This was the dilemma my family faced during my mother’s final illness until we all agreed to move her from the hospital back to her home at the Jeanne Jugan Residence in Newark for the last days of her life. Mom wanted to go home.  She was blessed to receive the best physical and spiritual care during the final days of her life accompanied by her family, caregivers and fellow residents.

Keep in mind that at some time in your life you may be unable to communicate your healthcare choices because of an accident or serious illness. This is why you need to have the conversation with those you love. How can you prepare?
  • Acknowledge that this is an on- going conversation.
  • Know that your loved ones may be uncomfortable and will try to avoid the issue.
  • Think about your own wishes, beliefs, values and preferences for end of life care. Write them down and add to them as your thoughts continue.
  • Include your loved ones in the planning and conversation as soon as you are ready to express them.
  • Share your own experiences in dealing with the final illness and death of a parent or other loved one.
  • Understand that it is never too soon to talk about end of life wishes.
  • When appointing a Medical Power of Attorney to communicate your end of life wishes if you are unable, be sure that the person you appoint can honor your wishes and can make difficult decisions on your behalf.




While it is important to prepare for the practical issues surrounding end of life care, it is important to remember the importance of spiritual and emotional care. Catholics have the sacrament, Anointing of the Sick that assists with both physical and spiritual healing. It is not to be delayed until death is imminent but should be received whenever someone is facing a serious illness, surgery, mental illness and addiction issues. While it may not always result in a physical cure it provides us with the grace that all of us need when facing an uncertain future and possibly our own deaths. This sacrament can be received on more than one occasion as circumstances warrant.

In addition to the sacrament of Anointing, Catholics also have the sacraments of Reconciliation for the forgiveness of sins and Holy Eucharist for strength during serious illness and the dying process.  Far too many families delay too long in requesting that a priest minister to their sick or dying loved one. The grace given through these sacraments can be a source of comfort to the patient and families who are facing an uncertain future.

Anyone with access to the internet can search out various tools to assist them in planning their end of life wishes. One such site is BeginTheConversation.org   As a minister to the bereaved, I can honestly say that it is always best to plan for tomorrow. A few hours spent in honest conversation today will save your loved ones untold anxiety and grief in the future.
 
Forwarded by Dave Savage - Educator and Author - HeartfeltMemorialServices.com
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