Gift Receiving Training
Receiving a gift in a heartfelt manner is a gift in return.
What relatives want most, in return, when giving a gift, is a more loving & caring relationship.
Thoughtfully Express Appreciation For Each Of The Parts of the Gift.
Created and shared by Dave Savage. DaveSavage.com
Receiving a gift in a heartfelt manner is a gift in return.
What relatives want most, in return, when giving a gift, is a more loving & caring relationship.
Thoughtfully Express Appreciation For Each Of The Parts of the Gift.
Created and shared by Dave Savage. DaveSavage.com
This gift receiving process/ceremony shows appreciation and acknowledgement for the many parts of a gift.
At each age level this "ceremony" can be done in a nicer and more meaningful way.
With young children, this process is best learned through role-playing just BEFORE the gift exchange time, and by role modeling in the way you receive gifts. Children will be able to do this differently, based on their age and maturity. I suggest that you explain and role-play the ritual before the gift giving time.
When “grandma” gives the gift, just let the process unfold and don’t coach and remind the kids what to do next. Let the gift of a heartfelt response be from the child and not you. Just do another role-play before the next gift receiving time. People love to give to those who are good receivers.
An idea for generous grandparents, and other relatives is to give educational, skill development and cultural awareness experiences. Leave the stuff to parents. Some of these things are best done with the children, building fond memories. It also prevents the kids from being overwhelmed with too much stuff. Summer camp, trips to unusual places, theater and other cultural programs, cooking classes and other educational programs, camping and other outdoor adventures are just a few ideas. None of these things end up at the back of the closet and they are remembered far longer than standard gifts for kids. The memories of the experiences last a lifetime. (An often for generations in the stories told about them) and certainly longer than most toys.
I encourage you to discuss and role play gift receiving before you go to gift exchange activities. This can be done on many different levels, depending on the age of the kids. What are their expectations and responsibilities? How do they like their gifts to be received? Are they entitled to gifts of a particular value? In what way should the type of gift they receive be connected to how they have treated the giver in the past year? Is it fair for one sibling to receive a more valuable gift that another if they have spent more time communicating and being kinder to the giver? What should the family policy be about thank you notes? One idea about thank you notes is that the gift can be used for an agreed number of hours. It is then put away until a thank you note is mailed. (Give an example of an appropriate note for their age level)
The ceremony:
1. When presented with the gift, accept it, then put it down and give the person a hug and a thanks for being so thoughtful and remembering you at this time with a gift. Thinking of you is the first part of the gift.
2. Open the card and read it aloud, slowly and with feeling, while facing the person. (3-4 feet away from you). Make a nice comment about the card, if you can. They spent time picking just the right card for you and they would like to know that you understood the message and felt the love in the card. Spending the time and energy on getting you a special card is another part of the gift.
3. Before opening the gift, say something that shows you admire or appreciate the way it was wrapped. They also thought of you as they chose the wrapping & bought the materials to do it: another part of the gift.
4. Open the gift slowly and with care. Handle the gift as you would handle the giver – with love and respect.
5. Say something nice about the gift or the thoughtfulness of the giver in choosing the gift. Have a variety of nice things to say, depending on what the item is. (Also practice what to say if the gift isn’t what you had hoped for. Perhaps grandma would like to go to the store, and spend time with you to pick a different gift.)
6. Follow up with a comment about how nice it is to have them as friend or relative in your life. (Give another hug if it is appropriate and heartfelt.) Having caring people in your life, and caring people who give you presents is a gift of wonderful memories that last a lifetime.
Relatives love to give gifts to kids who receive them this way.
Come to think of it, I think we’d all like our gifts received this way
DaveSavage.com/the-art-of-gift-receiving
DaveSavage.com/for-and-with-kids
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dave@davesavage.com 404 323-8686 - Atlanta 12/18/20